This has been a bad week for me as far as pain goes! The pain in my hands is now moving into both wrists while the left shoulder (thats the surgery one) decided it was jealous of the attention my hands/wrists/lower back/neck has been getting lately and decided to flare up big time in order to compete with the other joints…I guess. Wednesday through Friday I was basically a walking tramadol zombie who thought vegetables were hydrocodine (on a side note my tummy don’t feel very good) and fruit was mochas from Starbucks. Short version is it wasn’t a great week.
The worse part of the week came on Wednesday though. I had to ask for help removing stables from some paper because my hands were hurting so bad. Now for those of you that don’t know me or haven’t seen me, I’m both north of 6 feet tall and well north of 200 pounds. I’ve spent most of my life skiing, playing soccer (i miss soccer!!!), rock climbing, mountain biking, and road biking…staples should be pretty easy for me to remove. With this in mind, I’m guessing right about now your asking were in the world did I have a little victory.
My little victory was that I went right back to work after my boss removed the staples. I didn’t dwell much on the fact that I had to ask a older lady with bad back problems herself for help, I kept on fighting! I knew it was a bad day/week and I wasn’t going to get through it without help.
Without blowing my on horn to much, I was pretty proud of myself for not dwelling on the negative and moving on with the day. Earlier this year I now realize I was in a pretty deep depression. My doctor had told me that he was stumped and didn’t know what else he could do for me right now, skiing had become incredible hard, and I was having a lot of pain riding my bike (it became so bad that I haven’t been on my bike since June!). I was letting the bad side of pain win and it was on its way to a blow out victory. I know that the staple incident would have stayed with me for a long time! I’m thinking that by moving on with my day after my boss had removed the staples shows that I’ve climbed out of my depression and now have a better understanding of celebrating the little victories!
I think one of the hardest things to do is adjust the ego so you can celebrate the small victories and realize its not about winning every battle with pain but making sure you still live everyday the best you can. I much rather be riding 110 miles a week right now in preparation for a great skiing season but I’m starting to realize a victory is being able to go skiing for an hour and enjoying every minute of that hour before the pain takes over.
P.S. Yes Cassie (my physical therapist), all my surgeons, future surgeons, regular doctor, and insurance company, I am still planning on skiing this winter no matter how much my body might be screaming!