I’m serious, is there any case of pain causing acne? I’m curious because I either have the worlds biggest zit growing on my chin right now or its some kind of alien life forming on my face. Please, please, if anyone knows how to combat this please let me know and quickly!!
Why I’m I asking for acne treatment tips, well its because of the emotional/physical roller coaster that pain causes. This week saw me riding that roller coster to higher highs than I have for awhile but as we all know roller coasters gain a lot of speed coming down. And let me tell you, for some odd reason I rode that roller coaster down quickly. The zit was just the puddle of mud waiting for me at the bottom of the ride.
Let me explain a little bit more. For reasons passing understanding, we were open on Monday, New Years Eve. There was only a hand full of staff there, the phones didn’t ring, and most of us only got e-mails from each other because we were bored. The powers that be had decided that we should be open and the boss is always right, right (sarcasm is hard to write, its more of a tone of voice articulation device :). About the only thing that was keeping me awake on Monday was the excitement of skiing on Tuesday, New Years day and knowing my big New Years Eve celebration was going to consist of ordering a pizza and garlic bread with cheese from Idaho Pizza Company (life is really about the simple pleasures!)
Since my boss is still out on medical leave, I did get to do some end of the month reports that she would have taken care of if there. It did break up that Monday morning some, but there wasn’t anything on the reports that was that hard to calculate. One of the reports did involve calculating a million dollar transfer so I might be trying to be a little modest here. I was kind proud of the fact that I completed the end of the month reporting without having to ask for help (I received about 45 minutes of training on what my boss’s job entails so there has been a lot of looking at past reports and trying to work backwards from that).
We did go skiing on Tuesday, New Years day. That went surprisingly well for me! The coverage was horrible and it was wicked cold but I didn’t care. There was no major body disappointments that day which let me make some turns that felt like my old ski instructor self. I was skiing with a relatively small amount of pain, life was great that day 🙂 On a side note, it is amazing how the mind can get distracted with something, like skiing, and forget about the pain that is always there. IT SURE IS A HUGE VICTORY THOSE RARE TIMES IT HAPPENS AND SHOULD BE ENJOYED FOR EVERY LAST SECOND POSSIBLE!
Now I won’t lie, I did spend the rest of Tuesday napping and laying on my heating pad but that was alright by me. The energy from the victory was still rushing through my veins. I felt great and was looking forward to skiing again, and soon! The best part of skiing was that I slept a full 6 hours nonstop, I know, a full 6 hours is unheard of with chronic pain.
What surprised me though was that I woke up on Wednesday in a bad mood. I did have a doctors appointment (this was a new doctor) for the pain I’ve been having in my TMJ joint but I’m more socially comfortable now in a doctors office than I am in a bar with people my own age so I don’t think that was bothering me. Sleeping that much should have aloud me to continue with the victory feeling of skiing but it didn’t and I’m still not sure what happened.
All I know is I still feel almost dead inside. I’m tired, both mentally and physically. Nothing sounds fun, I seem to be going through the motions of each day without much enthusiasm for anything. My pain levels are basically normal, even after all these years it is still odd to write that my pain levels are basically normal-humans aren’t suppose to live in pain right???
The good news is I go to physical therapy on Tuesday which has become my version of a chocolate chip cookie wrapped in a bigger chocolate chip cookie! I’m also hoping that Bogus Basin (my local ski resort for you non Idaho readers) gets more snow so I can go skiing again. Outside of those two events, I’m not sure right now what else I can do to get back on the upside of the roller coaster ride pain causes.
Now, most of you might be asking why I’m writing about this. After all, the name of this blog is Pain Talks but Does Not Win. I know it is important to remain optimistic, but I’m not right now. The pain is winning and I need a break!
One of the reasons I created this blog is to help me grow as a person. I need to learn to express myself better! Whether its dealing with pain or my personal life, better communication skills will help me, my doctor, and hopefully others who are going through similar situations.
The second reason I started this blog is to give me another tool to fight “it”. My thought is if I can write my negativity down in a public forum I can leave it on the page instead of my life. My hope is that writing will provide me with a break from the negativity and allow me to enjoy the highs even more!
The thing about writing is that it doesn’t care how tired or happy I might be feeling. In order to grow as a writer I need to be honest with myself about what I’m feeling. I can’t let my personal emotions dictate what I’m trying to put on “paper”, I need to put my emotions on the “paper” as they are. Pain has many ups and downs, thats just a fact. Its unfortunate I’m experiencing a down so close to a up, but thats the way it goes. To put it another way, writing is a much needed distraction and I’ve earned it!!!
P.S. Writing doesn’t seem to be helping the acne problem! 🙂