My Shocking Arthritic Conspiracy!

 Ladies and gentlemen, I have some shocking news! I believe I’ve found a major conspiracy in the arthritic world!!! This conspiracy is HUGE; the size and scope of it is unprecedented.

Let me explain. I am relatively new to the arthritis world. I’m one of the lucky ones who did not start off in life with Juvenile Arthritis, for example.  I was able to escape the conspirators and enjoy things like soccer, skiing, baseball, and even tennis. I’ve skied all over Idaho, Utah, and even Mt. Hood in the middle of summer! Pretty cool life until I got cocky…

One day in June of 2003, I was rock climbing with friends. I had been climbing for about 3 years at that point; it was a fun sport for summer that kept me in shape for winter. I wasn’t a great climber, but good enough to push it a little more than just plain top roping a route. Plus, being a boy at heart, there is nothing better than playing in the dirt, right!? I was a healthy, athletic individual having a great time living life–until they got me!

On that horrible day in 2003, I ended up falling about 15 feet. For any climbers out there, I was leading a pretty simple route and was almost at my 2nd bolt when I fell. We think I didn’t put my first bolt in right and that’s why I hit the deck.

Since I didn’t have any health insurance at the time, my friends got me off the mountain and took me to the ER without calling for help.  I ended up spending 3 days in the hospital, where I received 6 staples in my head and 10 screws and a plate in my left wrist. The left side of my body was an odd color mix of black, red, blue, yellow, and orange. I was hurt, but luckily still alive.

Over the next 6 plus years, I ended up having 6 other surgeries. I now have plates in my neck, screws in my shoulder, a resurfaced left hip, and both knees have been scoped. I spend more time with my physical therapist than I do with my own brother!  New symptoms, like my swollen hands and severe lower back pain, are developing almost daily now. Whoever I made mad by not developing arthritis early in life has definitely had their revenge!

Now, up until that fateful day, I had been relatively injury-free. Sure I’d sprained my ankle in soccer a couple hundred times, my knees made some noise on bad days, and my back would hurt some, but not anywhere near the life-altering pain I’m experiencing now. At the time, I just chalked it up to my athletic ability and ego not always talking. I was bound to have some aches and pains for how active I was, right?


You might be asking yourself where the conspiracy is in all of this is. I promise I will let you know that soon (it is too dangerous for me to reveal anything more right now)! For now, ask yourself these questions: 1. Who benefits the most by having a nation full of arthritic people? 2. Why do seemingly healthy people all of a sudden show up with swollen joints and increased pain levels? 3. Why do arthritic people turn on each other so much? 4. Why is there no cure?

Believe me, you will be shocked, rocked, and most of all surprised by the evidence I have! 


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